At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
