I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
