:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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