i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
