u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
