i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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