you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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