I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
