R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Someone came in the potted fern
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
