Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
