belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
