I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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