i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he thought i was a dude.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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