fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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