Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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