dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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