drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
