what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
