I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
