Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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