I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
