If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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