I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
