Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
