i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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