He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
