an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
