Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize