Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
