I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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