I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
