Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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