Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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