Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
