do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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