I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
