Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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