He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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