Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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