i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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