He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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