WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
