My nipple is on Facebook.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
