tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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