It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize