Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
