Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
