what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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