I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
