the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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