Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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