So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
