i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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