I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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