so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
