My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
