Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
