I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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