I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize