just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
