some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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