I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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