shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
