Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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