He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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