Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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